The older I get, and especially in recent years, the worse it gets. That feeling I get when I recount a memory of something stupid or in retrospect shameful that embarrasses or humiliates me to my core. They can be little things or big things, and specifics I will not get into. But the feeling is always the same.

It's that intense urge to clench my fists at my own arrogance, foolishness, naivety, jack-assery, etc... And the same words run instantly through my head EVERY SINGLE TIME:

"FUCK FUCK FUCK. I'm an IDIOT!!"